Together Forever, Gnome Matter What

Introducing the Valentine’s collection no one asked for but everyone secretly needs — the “Together Forever, Gnome Matter What” apparel line. Because nothing screams true love like a matching outfit featuring two disturbingly affectionate gnomes who clearly left their last relationship in a shallow forest grave.

This isn’t your grandma’s garden merch (unless your grandma’s unhinged and we love that for her). This collection is for couples who:

  • Giggle together… and occasionally plot together.
  • Think “soulmate” sounds more like a binding contract.
  • Believe “til death do us part” is a solid start, not a limit.

From cozy hoodies that whisper “I’ll haunt you if you leave” to tanks and tees that say “yes, we trauma-bonded,” this lineup is where romance meets chaos and caffeine meets therapy.

Available Styles:

  • Hoodies: For snuggling, scheming, or emotionally complex napping.
  • Tanks: For flexing love muscles and red flags.
  • Tees: Soft, sarcastic, and slightly threatening (in a cute way).
  • Mugs: Because nothing says “forever” like sipping dark roast and staring menacingly into your partner’s eyes.

Features:

  • Premium cotton + poly blend — comfort that’ll last longer than sanity
  • Unisex fits for couples who share everything… even questionable taste
  • Machine washable (because blood, wine, and dirt happen)
  • Artwork that’s 50% wholesome, 50% unsettling — 100% you

Perfect For:

  • Matching with your ride-or-die, your almost-ex, or your neighbors who overshare
  • Anti-Valentine’s parties, first dates, and legally binding love spells
  • Anyone who looks at a garden gnome and thinks, “Same energy”